 My family life with a teenage tearaway is hovering around Def Con 3. It can get pretty intense at times, but I'm riding the storm, parenting as best I know, and of course, am safe in the knowledge that it is only a 'phase' and will pass. Brilliantly though, this coming weekend I'm away immersing myself in yoga, handing over the reins to my partner. Every year me and about 100 other yoga teachers get together and share yoga workshops, practices, enjoy good company and good food. Early morning practices, in depth teachings, chanting together and enjoying the expertise and wisdom of some of the most senior teachers sharing yoga in the world today. Even the granddaughter of Krishnamacharya (the forefather of modern yoga), daughter of TKV Desikachar, is Zooming in to share yoga with us. Should I go? Absolutely. It's important. By committing to this time away, I'll return able to be a better parent / friend / spouse / person. I'm making time for myself to reconnect deeply to the yoga practice that sustains me every day and that I share with those around me. This weekend will help me show up for my son in the way that I need to, with patience and love while also holding firm boundaries and accountability. On a smaller scale, day-to-day, week-to-week, we are always faced with distractions interrupting our best-placed intentions to get to our yoga mat. Family demands, work emergencies, dark and rainy evenings, tiredness, etc. The list of potential hazzards on the way to our mat is long. Important or Urgent When I used to work in business, we used the Eisenhower Matrix. You took your To-Do list, and placed everything into a grid of four boxes. Each box has a title along the axis: Urgent, Important, Non-important, Not-urgent. Everything in the Important and Urgent box is prioritised to the top of what you need to do. It helps you weed out the Urgent stuff, the stuff that feels really pressing, but actually might not be as Important. It helps you prioritise wisely so that you ensure the Important things are attended to.  Yoga lands firmly in the Important box. Sometimes the Urgent stuff isn't as important and has to wait. Sometimes we leave getting to our mat until it is Urgent, instead of just Important. We wait until a health crisis, a burnout, anxiety overload, back pain, immobility, before we decide the time is right to get to yoga. Don't wait until it is Urgent Treat your yoga practice as Important now, don't wait until you have an Urgent health crisis. Yoga, alongside good sleep and nutrition are our foundation. They support us in our daily life so that literally everything feels easier and less urgent. And it even helps you enjoy the turmoil along the way.
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 Our yoga practice is often forward looking - we practice to gain something. Perhaps we are seeking more flexibility, a less achy back, an unscrambled mind, a stronger and calmer end to our week. The idea of seeking something from yoga is universal, especially when you are getting started. We all take up the practice for a reason, and yoga in its brilliance, is often a good solution. It does all of those things, and much more. However we don't have to always seek something from our practice and their is a curious paradox here. Not seeking or expecting a reward from what we do is a different stance from how we approach most of the rest of our lives. Instead, we can move and breath for the joy of it, for the habit of it, we let go of the expectations and hopes, and simply see what arises. This step-change in our practice can be a revelation. It can provide a gentleness towards ourselves. We might discover how to listen inwards more fully. And perhaps opening towards what is there now, not what we are trying to create or get. And it allows us to discover space and be more receptive to what arises. Instead of pushing or demanding something of a posture, or of our breath or focus, invite a gentler approach. Bring an openness to a movement or to the breath, back away from pushing, struggling or trying too hard. And within that find receptivity. Pushing against anything will meet resistance. Sometimes it is appropriate to address this resistance. But it is also wonderful to let go of the pushing. Allow a pose to unfold for us instead of 'creating' it with effort. Allow the body to be more receptive to a stretch because it feels safer when not being pushed. Allow the nervous system to calm down. There is research demonstrating that if you take a stretch at only 30% of the maximum, so hardly anything really, that it is far more effective at gaining mobility than taking the stretch at 70% or higher. Receptivity and repetition do the job better than pushing, and allow us a spacious and relaxed body and mind along the way. Next time you take to your mat, instead of expecting or pushing, try giving thanks for what you already have, what is already there, and open gently into what arises without expecting anything more. It offers a beautiful pause in life which I would highly recommend.
Thinking about whether to do your practice or not is a slippery slope. Our thoughts are tricky, easily derailed, and unreliable for doing what is best for us.
Not getting to your mat can be tempting when the weather is bad. And without the commitment in advance, it won't get any easier. Take your decision to practice once, in advance, when your feeling pro-active. It is soooo much easier than deciding each day or week whether or not to turn up. If you are constantly questioning whether your practice is going to happen, then Autumn is the season where it will really slide. Pick your time, pick your class, book it in and stick to it, enjoy that you did it. The same way that you don't think about cleaning your teeth each day, you already committed to doing that as part of your life years ago. Yoga practice should be developed to be that same positive habit. I took a drenching this morning going to the studio. But it made me feel alive, vibrant, and great to be outside, rather than home watching the rain. It is always hard when you have to decide to leave the house. Commit ahead of time, book your term or pre-book your month's classes using your membership to help you stick to your good intentions. You'll always be glad you did.
There is plenty in our lives that we have to do; we have responsibilities and obligations. But we can also make a conscious choice when the opportunity arises to resist being busy and distracted.
What can you do more of now that will feel right when you reflect at the end of your life?
It doesn't matter how much movement or breath or focus you are able to muster that day. Showing up, engaging in practice, connecting to your body, breath and more subtle aspects of yourself can be easily neglected, but remain instantly retrievable just by showing up next time.
Top tip: if you find you haven't got an hour or 15 minutes that week for practice, remove yourself from social media for a day and see how much time you actually have. What help can you need to support you in showing up?
Many yoga practitioners leave it there. The fruit of practice has served its purpose, the body and mind are happy, all is good. Roll on the next practice where we do this again.
But perhaps, at some point in your developing practice of yoga, this body focus and breath focus will become more familiar and come more naturally to you. The teacher will need to offer less instruction as your own enquiry and focus will lead the way. The body and mind may become less demanding and needy, allowing for greater stability and perhaps allowing space for other aspects to emerge. The teacher may become instrumental in guiding you in more subtle matters or ways of practicing. Rather than allowing the sometimes whimsical ways of the mind lead the way, guidance and direction can be very helpful. The monthly Sunday sessions at YogaSpace are intended to really put further developments of yoga practice, beyond the immediate benefits and side-effects of practice, front and centre and open it up to discussion. Reflecting on this past Sunday's morning practice we went into the depths of what the concept of 'energy' in our yoga practice might mean. Not in a text book definition, not what the ancients made of it, leaving aside theories of coiled snakes or conceptual energy centres, not in a physics theory (E = mc2 anyone?), but the actual, direct experience of energy - the stuff we are made from. Can we feel it? Where? What does it feel like? What can we 'do' with this feeling? Can we change it or manipulate it? Improve it? Find deep rest in it? Does it mean anything? Can we experience it at all? How? Finding a first person perspective of our energy without it being 'out there' (literally and metaphorically). You can't be told this, you can only experience it for yourself. It might be subtle, it might be powerful, it is certainly very curious. If your curious about your practice, perhaps join us one Sunday and participate in the practice and then discussion. |
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Princes Place, Bishopston Just off Gloucester Road Bristol BS7 8NP |
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